Roller skating. Roller Skating used to be the bees knees. It freaking rocked. You could uncontrollably fly around the rink in an unsafe chaotic speeds with your ankles turning left and right. Running into walls, people, and trying desperately to cling to the railing as you go. Bon Jovi's "Shot Through the Heart" is blaring through the radio and you realize this is it. This is the youth everyone tells me are the best days of my life the days you can never get back.
I say nonsense to that. Get those days back. Go roller skating, listen to Bon Jovi, just remember when you fall now it will hurt a lot more than you ever remember and when you turn your ankle it will hurt for at least two months. But most importantly remember that we do have one thing going for us now that we didn't have then, and that is alcohol. The more you drink the more delayed you response to the pain will be.
So go be merry, drink obnoxiously, and roller skate!
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About Me
- Liz Schulte's Blog
- I am a Scorpio. I enjoy long walks on the beach, drinking copious amounts of alcohol, and men in hockey masks. In my spare time I work to foil the plans of my arch nemesis, utilize my eight finger discount, and lecture from my soapbox about social injustices. I do not tolerate fools or like people who make Walmart plural. I judge people who are missing more teeth than they have, unless they are old. I would like to someday be the scary old woman in the neighborhood that all the children are afraid of, however I will be misunderstood and actually a sweet old lady turned bitter by the disappointments of this cruel, cruel life. I will have made my vast wealth telling fortunes under the alias the Mad Madame Mim and selling t-shirts in tourist destinations that say “Life isn’t always flowers and sausages”.
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