A letter to Mother Nature

To: mothernaturewillfyouup@gmail.com
From: genehackmankickyourass@gmail.com

December 16, 2008

Re: Stupid ass weather

Dear Ms. Mother Nature,

Let me start with DAMN IT. Second, I would like to inquire, what the hell are you doing? Obviously, this is letter is intended as a formal complaint against the weather situation in Columbia, Missouri, USA, Earth, the Universe, etc.

I imagine this current weather tangent is do to some oversight on your part. Let me lay out the particulars for you. Sunday 12/14/08 it was 60 degrees, though a bit cloudy and rainy. 60 degrees! This temperature held steady until about 4pm, then it started to drop. This is an understandable chain of events as it is December and it is not normal to have 60 degree weather in Missouri this time of year. It does, however, expose you for a sick and twisted bitch to tease us with a little warmth then take it away, but not only was it taken away. We were then doused in water and thrown in the damn freezer. Yes, I am sure you had a grand laugh watching all of us poor bastards slip and slide our way into work bright and early Monday morning. Monday stayed cold so that none of the ice would melt, you must have really enjoyed your joke. Then this morning we wake up to what? An entire day of snow and sleet (aka wintery mix). Well that is just uncalled for. I mean of all the low, rotten, backstabbing, monkey shit things to do.

Now I have looked at the forecast for the rest of the week and I have to wonder, how do you sleep at night? Good day to you....I said goodday!

Kiss my ass,

Liz