Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Fly paper for freaks
At a car dealership this weekend the sales person insisted on showing me his heart surgery scar. First I don't care, second ew! Have I mentioned my sheer abhorrence for sales people.
Friday, June 26, 2009
The Short Adventure of Sammy Sandwich
One extremely long afternoon Ms. Kimbottom Fancypants was working tirelessly on work type things. She had cut her lunch short only eating the soup part of her soup and sandwich combo (why anyone would have ordered soup when the heat index made it a hair hotter than hell is beyond me). She brought her sandwich back with her to work determined to save it for dinner. While she was working how ever she managed to spill her cranergy pomegranate juice. She did not notice the juice trickling down the side of her filling cabinet and into her purse soaking her sandwich in tasty pomegranate goodness.
Soon the juice began to coagulate and before Kimbotton Fancypants knew what was going on her sandwich had grown legs, arms, and quite the little sandwichy attitude. Her sandwich hopped up onto her desk and asked her "Do you need help sussing out these spreadsheets Fancypants or should I see what Captain Corndog and Baron Von Broccoli are up to?"
Kimbottom was quite amazed that her sandwich had acquired not only legs and arms but vocal abilities in such a short amount of time. "Sammy Sandwich get back into my purse where you belong. I cannot be seen talking to my lunch when my boss is on his way. Scat."
Sammy Sandwich looked Kimbottom in the eye and said with contemptuousness "I shall not. I have heard your plans, you intend to murder me tonight. I am having none of that old Fancypants. You will have to catch me."
Sammy Sandwich jumped off the desk and began running between the cubicle aisles waving his hands in the air like he just didn't care. Kim chased her sandwich hissing at it. "Sammy Sandwich you stop at once before someone steps on you."
Sammy became so preoccupied looking over his shoulder at her he ran right into the water cooler knocking himself flat.
Kimbottom picked up Sammy Sandwich and said "Get in my belly."
Thus ending the life of Sammy Sandwich.
The End
Soon the juice began to coagulate and before Kimbotton Fancypants knew what was going on her sandwich had grown legs, arms, and quite the little sandwichy attitude. Her sandwich hopped up onto her desk and asked her "Do you need help sussing out these spreadsheets Fancypants or should I see what Captain Corndog and Baron Von Broccoli are up to?"
Kimbottom was quite amazed that her sandwich had acquired not only legs and arms but vocal abilities in such a short amount of time. "Sammy Sandwich get back into my purse where you belong. I cannot be seen talking to my lunch when my boss is on his way. Scat."
Sammy Sandwich looked Kimbottom in the eye and said with contemptuousness "I shall not. I have heard your plans, you intend to murder me tonight. I am having none of that old Fancypants. You will have to catch me."
Sammy Sandwich jumped off the desk and began running between the cubicle aisles waving his hands in the air like he just didn't care. Kim chased her sandwich hissing at it. "Sammy Sandwich you stop at once before someone steps on you."
Sammy became so preoccupied looking over his shoulder at her he ran right into the water cooler knocking himself flat.
Kimbottom picked up Sammy Sandwich and said "Get in my belly."
Thus ending the life of Sammy Sandwich.
The End
Thursday, June 25, 2009
The Sound of Music
So it has been a while since I blogged. Sorry man, I've been living my life.
This summer is all about the music for me. Beale Street Music festival reignited my passion for other people's music (I make none of my own, I do occasionally sing while driving in my car and while TECHNICALLY that may be considered music I would not go so far as to deem it so).
I have found several artist who are not necessarily new but are new to me so that is good enough. I love musicians in this stage of their career. When they are not quite famous, but still are able to make a living at what they do. They still have that appreciation for what they have without the seemingly inevitable feelings of entitlement. You are only here because we like you buddy and you can leave just as fast as the public's opinion changes.
That is what summer is all about though, right? It is about hanging out with good friends, good music, hotter than hell weather (if you reside is Missouri). Music should be a part of everyone's soul. It inspires and reminds you that the world is a much bigger place than your own little piece of it. I give you all permission to play your favorite song on the way home from work today with your windows down (if you are brave) or you ac on max and sing at the top of your lung. In the immortal words of Journey Don't stop Believing. ahhahahahaha that is cheesetastic...but completely made of awesome.
This summer is all about the music for me. Beale Street Music festival reignited my passion for other people's music (I make none of my own, I do occasionally sing while driving in my car and while TECHNICALLY that may be considered music I would not go so far as to deem it so).
I have found several artist who are not necessarily new but are new to me so that is good enough. I love musicians in this stage of their career. When they are not quite famous, but still are able to make a living at what they do. They still have that appreciation for what they have without the seemingly inevitable feelings of entitlement. You are only here because we like you buddy and you can leave just as fast as the public's opinion changes.
That is what summer is all about though, right? It is about hanging out with good friends, good music, hotter than hell weather (if you reside is Missouri). Music should be a part of everyone's soul. It inspires and reminds you that the world is a much bigger place than your own little piece of it. I give you all permission to play your favorite song on the way home from work today with your windows down (if you are brave) or you ac on max and sing at the top of your lung. In the immortal words of Journey Don't stop Believing. ahhahahahaha that is cheesetastic...but completely made of awesome.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Random thought
If I were independently wealthy I would spend one whole summer traveling to towns with interesting names. Like Sugar Land, TX or Truth or Consequences, NM…
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)