Tuesday, December 23, 2008

An Open Letter


Dear Driver of the Grey Cherokee SUV behind me on my way home,

I am very happy for you that you have 4 wheel drive on your huge gas guzzling vehicle, I am sure you are not over compensating for something despite the rumors. You are SO lucky to be able to drive 80 miles per hour in snow and ice too bad you have to be on the street with other people, that must really suck. This leads me to my point...

You are an asshole! Let me point out two little things to you. One, 4 wheel drive will not help you on black ice jackass, and two even if you maintain control on that monstrosity of a vehicle there is no guarantee that the person who you are tailgating will kept control of THEIR car and the last thing they need is to be hit by you.

Next, I would like to make it clear to you what will happen if you hit me while you are being such a asshat. First, I will stab you with each piece of glass from my windows if they break. They will be small stab wounds considered that cars all come with safety glass but let me assure you I am patient even to stab you with each and every piece hopefully scarring you for life. Next I would like to break your fingers to inflict pain on you for not obeying the rules of the road. I am confident that these sanctions will teach you a much needed lesson about tailgating people in ice.

Merry Christmas,


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You drive. You drive. I think there's something wrong with me. - Dr. G.

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