I am a Scorpio. I enjoy long walks on the beach, drinking copious amounts of alcohol, and men in hockey masks. In my spare time I work to foil the plans of my arch nemesis, utilize my eight finger discount, and lecture from my soapbox about social injustices. I do not tolerate fools or like people who make Walmart plural.
I judge people who are missing more teeth than they have, unless they are old. I would like to someday be the scary old woman in the neighborhood that all the children are afraid of, however I will be misunderstood and actually a sweet old lady turned bitter by the disappointments of this cruel, cruel life.
I will have made my vast wealth telling fortunes under the alias the Mad Madame Mim and selling t-shirts in tourist destinations that say “Life isn’t always flowers and sausages”.
Blurb: You know what’s worse than being blackmailed by a secret council? My family. But somehow I was roped into a mission that required me to deal with both. If it weren’t for bad luck…well you know the rest.
Shezmu, the god of ointment with a penchant for dismembering bodies, made himself known in the catacombs by chopping up fifteen innocents and putting them on display. Despite the fact that Shezmu killed my father, the council determined I was the best person to send on this “diplomatic” mission. All I had to do was convince him to go home, thwart whatever the council’s real plan was for the contradictory god, and save the world from everyone else’s personal agendas—or as I call it, just another Tuesday.
Everything should have been simple enough, but it wasn’t. This mission was personal and when things get personal, lives change. But not always for the better.