Today at lunch I saw a zombie. I knew it was a zombie based on her slow, shuffled walk, blank fresh craving expression, and slacked jaw. I was not scared, mostly because I was in a car pointing at her and she didn't notice. Had I walked past her and she tried to bite me I would have had to whip out the nunchucks I bought on eBay yesterday and kicked some zombie butt. (Of course I do this almost every time a stranger tries to bite me zombie or not...that just isn't sanitary) My sister did not believe it was a zombie (poor naïve girl). She obviously has not watched enough movies or read the Zombie Survival Guide. Luckily I was there to set her straight.
Happy Friday the 13th!
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About Me
- Liz Schulte's Blog
- I am a Scorpio. I enjoy long walks on the beach, drinking copious amounts of alcohol, and men in hockey masks. In my spare time I work to foil the plans of my arch nemesis, utilize my eight finger discount, and lecture from my soapbox about social injustices. I do not tolerate fools or like people who make Walmart plural. I judge people who are missing more teeth than they have, unless they are old. I would like to someday be the scary old woman in the neighborhood that all the children are afraid of, however I will be misunderstood and actually a sweet old lady turned bitter by the disappointments of this cruel, cruel life. I will have made my vast wealth telling fortunes under the alias the Mad Madame Mim and selling t-shirts in tourist destinations that say “Life isn’t always flowers and sausages”.
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