Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Thirteen Reasons Jason can kick Chuck Norris' ass

1. He he was raised by inbreeders grew up after he died underwater and therefore has a natural resistance to bullets, knifes, arrows, axes, fire, drowning, electricity, etc.
2. Can catch people just by walking even when they are running.
3. Has the uncanny ability to hide out in the open even when people are looking for him.
4. He knows who is naughty and nice just like Santa but he doesn't care you are still fair game
5. Is proficient with every weapon ever made and has a knack for turning non weapons into weapons
6. He can squeeze you head so hard you eyes will pop out. Reference Friday the 13th part three.
7. He always minds his mother.
8. He has more lives then Britney Spears has second chances.
9. He doesn't even have to speak, people pee their pants just looking at him.
10. Chuck Norris could rip off his arm and Jason would just beat him to death with it then reattach it no problem
11. Jason would laugh at Chuck round house kick if he could laugh then grab his ankle and beat him against a smiley face carved into a tree until it turns red, his favorite color. See part 6
12. It doesn't matter if Chuck checks under his bed for Jason he will still die probably by an arrow being pushed through the mattress and then throat. See part one.
13. Jason doesn't take American Express, Discover, ro Mastercard. Only Visa bitch... see part 7

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