Monday, April 18, 2011

I Need Your Opinion

I am writing a short story for a collection of short stories to which I am contributing. My brain went into overdrive last night trying to think of possible ideas. So now I need help narrowing them down. I will give you the first paragraph of four stories and if you could tell me which one you think sounds like the most promising short story I would be eternally grateful. Keep in mind these are all completely, 100% unedited just like my blog. :-)

#1 Lightning split the sky, providing an instant of light that allowed the minister to see through the wall of rain that separated him from the man in a trench coat across the street. The man appeared to be watching him even though the only light that could penetrate the swirling fog and relentless rain was that of the occasional flash from the heavens. But even those were getting even fewer and further between as the storm moved past. The minister stood in his house with the lights off trying to watch the man across the street. He didn't appear to have an umbrella yet stood, rigid on the other side of the street as the storm raged on in the distance.

#2 It all started with an email conversation. Six people, who had very little in common besides for their mutual misfortune of attending the same small country high school in rural Missouri, made plans for a weekend getaway. Each one of them led their own life and followed their own path since graduation. Occasionally it was mentioned how lucky they were to still be friends after so many years fluttered past them. They knew that their friendship had been forged on countless nights of giggling, prank phone calls, confessions, triumphs, failures, joy, heartache, and a complete understanding and acceptance of one another. Luck never entered into the picture.


#3 What started as a bad hair day had just become the worst day of Maggie's life. She sat in her doctor's office lost inside her own mind as he rambled on about operations and getting a handle on this before it got any worse. Once the word "tumor" escaped his lips the good doctor lost his audience of one. She didn't immediately respond instead she sat in a daze waiting. Maggie didn't know what she was waiting for, perhaps she was waiting to wake up or perhaps she was waiting to fall over dead. It didn't really matter now. Now she had a tumor.

#4  It was a cold blustery day in a little town of no consequence to anyone including the people who live there. The wind howled outside of a small bar causing the walls to groan. The establishment had long since fallen off the beaten path and saw few patrons, especially on nights like this. The bartender stood behind the bar leaning against the back counter mindlessly polishing glasses with a dirty towel. His attention seemed to be divided between the low hum of the television and the two women sitting at the bar. The woman named Mona leaned in to speak to her companion as if they were sharing state secrets. Her companion Piper leaned away from her uncomfortable by the intrusion into her space. They were an odd pair. It was obvious that they did not know each other well. Neither lady said much to the other one, mostly they awkwardly sipped their Bacardi during infinitely long pauses in their conversation.

Thank you all in advance!

30 Day Song Challenge Day 12 A song from a band you hate.
I am going to catch a lot of grief about this one, but it is true I do not like them.

14 comments:

julieannfelicitydelgrosso said...

I like #4! I can't wait to see what you do with it, if you pick that one. :) Will a handsome stranger come sweeping in? Will a tornado blow through and wipe them out? The possibilities are endless! :)

Pamela Mason said...

Whichever one you choose it will be fantastic. Let it simmer awhile & then the right one will appear.
I'm in the same boat. Between blogging, my Patch article, and everything else, I need some inspiration bad.

chrysoula said...

I'm voting for #4. What kind of stories are these? I find knowing genre influences my reading of opening scenes a lot.

Lizzie's Blog said...

Hmmm good question. 1 and 2 are scary/mystery type stories. I have eliminated #3 and #4 is harder to pigeonhole, maybe Urban Fantasy.

Kim said...

I like #1. I remember you shared that with me before and I thought it sounded dark and interesting. I'd like to see where the story goes!

Khloë Kamalis said...

I like #1 it's mysterious and in my way of thinking has vast possibilities for expansion. It seems like it could be the beginning of whatever genre you choose. Write ON! 8-) ♥

Buddy Gott said...

#1 grabbed me right away. I'd like to see where you'd take that opening.

Jennifer Starks said...

I really like 1 and 3, but if I HAVE to chose it's going to be one. I love a man in a trench coat. Ominous.

Nichole Chase said...

They all sound interesting, but #4 really caught my attention!

C.G. Powell said...

I like #4 but, #1 sounds interesting too. You are getting prolific just like Scott:)

Lizzie's Blog said...

I don't know if I will ever be prolific like Scott, but since one and four are the clear winners I will probably write them both and then choose one. I will save the other in case another short story need should come up.

Elizabeth Sharp said...

I'm with the #1 crowd...

Jennifer said...

I thought I commented on this already but I guess I didn't. I like #1. I think you set up a very intriguing atmosphere with the first paragraph.

Julius Cicero said...

I vote for the first sample. It appeals most to me, because there are so many possibilities to expound on it.
Julius

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