A Halloween Story

It was dusk on All Hallows Eve the cool wind rustled the changing leaves catching a few and sending them floating through the air. The smell of decaying leaves, pumpkins, and winter mixed leaving the undeniable smell of fall. Walking across the parking lot Timothy could hear the melodious chimes of bells off in the distance. The setting lent to the ominous feel of the empty lot as Timothy trudged towards the parking garage carrying a pumpkin and a bag of Halloween treats.

At first Timothy did not notice that he was indeed alone on his frequently traveled path. He had lost track of time at the office. He hadn't meant to stay quite so long. It wasn't until he heard a sharp snap behind him that he took notice that today did not feel like every other day. Timothy glanced behind him to see who was coming but there was no one there. Timothy shifted the increasingly heavy pumpkin in his arms and quickened his pace to match that of his quickening heart.

The sound of Timothy's quick steps echoed in his ears. He thought he heard a rustle off to his left, but saw nothing. He heard a fluttering noise to his right but again couldn't find the source. 'It must be the wind' he thought to himself as the wind was starting to pick up as if a storm was blowing in. Timothy forced a chuckle that did nothing to help calm his nerves. The pumpkin was so heavy in his arms he could feel his muscles begin to ache.

"It's too late" Timothy thought he heard whispered in his ear, but he couldn't be sure for the damn wind. He frantically looked behind him still seeing nothing. Timothy tried to speed up more, his arms aching from the weight of the pumpkin and his hands cold as ice from the wind. The wind was blowing so hard as if it was trying to keep him from the garage. Timothy leaned into it and ran with all of his might towards the garage.

Once he broke the threshold of the garage his momentum carried him stumbling into the wall smashing his pumpkin. Timothy cursed about the ruined pumpkin while stealing a glance outside where the wind appeared to have died down. Timothy let out the breath he had been holding in fear. He started walking through the garage towards his car, one of the only cars left. Halfway to his car the light in the garage went dark. Timothy could not see anything, even the tips of his own finger wiggling in front of his face. Timothy's heart was thudding so loudly it was audible. He heard something behind him but he couldn't see anything. Fear seized him and he started running towards his car. He heard the slow and steady movement behind him. He ran faster dropping his bag of treats. He had to be close to his car now.

The next day Timothy's body was found in the parking garage at the base of a column two feet from his car.

The moral of the story running in the dark because you are a weenie will only end badly.

Liz's thought for the day

Why do I not get better looking stalkers? If someone has to stalk me can it not be Jensen Ackles? Seriously, I do not think I am asking for too much here...

'tis the season

When I was a kid there was a record we would listen to around this time of year. It was a record in which a a person told scary stories. It was awesome. I would love to have it on a cd now (because honestly who has a record player anymore, they were out of date when I was a little kid). I remember it had Edgar Allan Poe, the hitchhiker story, something about a big toe (possibly skinny toe), and a story I cannot remember anything about other than the line "Hello down there". I am about to go on a mission to see if they make such cds. My guess is no because kids do not seem to have the attention span to sit and listen to a story without something visual.

Melvin and the Tears of Doom

Once upon a time back when people used Bakelite radios there lived a man named Melvin Osterlump. Melvin cried often and for no apparent reason. When he saw people get hurt, he cried, when he saw people come together, he cried. He cried so much that from his eyes down his cheeks you could almost see rivets from the path the tears most often took. Melvin had problems keeping friends because of his unfortunate crying, this also made him cry. No women would even look at him, this made him cry as well. He had to use plastic pillow cases because his tears continued even as he slept. One day Melvin was crying down the street when he ran into a little old bag lady. The woman fell over and Melvin cried harder. He tried to help her up by his hands where too wet from his tears. The lady struggle to her dirty feet and glared at Melvin. At this Melvin started sobbing. The lady slowly reached into her bag and pulled out a mysterious powder Melvin never saw because his tears were too heavy. She pinched a bit of the powder into her palm and blew it in his face. It was like a miracle he could feel the tears resending. In moments he had stopped crying and didn't think he could cry even if he wanted to . He was so happy he hugged the women and thanked her then walked away. Melvin was on top of the world but as he walked he felt like his skin was tightening around him. It was horrible the worst headache he had ever had. Melvin managed to stumble into a bathroom. He leaned against the sink and looked in the mirror. Melvin was speechless when he saw the tiny head on the great big body staring back at him.
From that day on Melvin never cried again, but others cried when they saw poor Melvin and his shrunken head.

Princess Liz and Kim back again!

Once upon a time in a land of windmills there lived two princesses. Princess Kimmie Kim Kim Ka Choo and Princess Liz. One day P.K was walking down a little dirt path on her way to a sunny meadow with flowers and rainbows and all sort of bedazzled items. On her journey she ran into her good friend and drinking buddy P.L.
"Why hello kitty!" P. L said brightly. "How are you this fine afternoon?"
P.K. shrugged her shoulders. "I have the late afternoon work doldrums. So I decided to go to that meadow with all the girly crap and make fun of the mindless followers. And maybe buy a bedazzled Neil Diamond t-shirt."
"Oh that sound like fun I think I heard they are bedazzling smurfs today. I guess that legislation has not gone through yet. Poor little blue men. I would have thought they would have won enough money in that lawsuit against the blue man group for stealing their premise to stop this from happening."
"Yeah, I agree. I think the last straw was when Paris Hilton started carrying them in giant purses. Just so wrong. They may be tiny and blue, but damn it they have feelings too."
"God I could use some wine."
"You are my life now. I mean that I do. That sounds much better than those happy skittle shitting people. We can make fun of them after the winery."
"Only if there is the promise of bear claws."
"Yes of course. I will even feng shui you house if I am drunk enough."
"Oh no, I don't think so I remember what happened last time. You brought Steven Seagall back with you and he broke nearly every piece of my furniture proving that he was not past his prime. Some people can just not handle their jager."
"I promise no Steven Seagull this time. Besides he is in no condition to make it I think he got a hernia threw your couch from the balcony."
"What a tool bag."
"He is indeed a tool bag."
P.K and P.L laughed and continued to reminiscence the rest of the way to the winery.
The end.

Even the best laid plans...

So I am a fairly unabashed horror movie fan. I don't hide it, it isn't a secret... I simply love horror movies. It is a childhood thing. Some people watched Disney, I watched Nightmare on Elm Street.
My all time favorite horror movie is Halloween. Hands down the best one in my opinion: to be clear I am talking about the old John Carpenter movie not the Rob Zombie monstrosity of a movie. Anyway back on target, I had a friend of like mind growing up who watched all of these blood bath movies with me. Throughout the 25 years we have known each other that hasn't stopped we still go see these movies together.
Tonight was supposed to be Halloween 2 night. Yes I think Rob Zombie is a horrible director. Yes, I think he is single-handedly trying to ruin the best super villain of all time... but nevertheless I had every intention of see a movie I have exceedingly low expectations for two reasons. One, it is a scary movie and Two, it is Halloween! Imagine my surprise when I discover today that it is already out of theaters. What the what? Seriously. It has been out for what, two weeks. Was it that bad? I mean that exceeds even my expectation of horribleness. Now I am all geared up for a horror movie marathon sort of night and all I am left with is Sorority Row. I mean seriously people, Sorority Row. Ughhh

Yet Another Very Liz Encounter

I went to Taco Bell this weekend because I was running late for a show and needed to grab some lunch. I made my order and the elderly (like fifties) guy behind the counter was staring at my shirt (I hope) but didn't finish the order. Finally he looked at me and pointed towards me and asked
"Have you heard of Black Sabbath."
I wasn't entirely certain what to make of this since I was wearing my Arts and Science t-shirt but I am mostly a nice person so I said yes I had heard of them. Then he told me they were in Taco Bell earlier the same day. I wasn't sure what the appropriate response should have been to that to let him know that was neat and all but I had things to do and we needed to speed up this ordering process. I think I said something about oh they must be traveling between St. Louis and Kansas City. The man proceeded to tell me about when he used to live in Austen and work at a gas station where he met Alabama no fewer than three times.
How do these people find me and why cannot I not find a way to discourage the life story sharing?