Once upon a time back when people used Bakelite radios there lived a man named Melvin Osterlump. Melvin cried often and for no apparent reason. When he saw people get hurt, he cried, when he saw people come together, he cried. He cried so much that from his eyes down his cheeks you could almost see rivets from the path the tears most often took. Melvin had problems keeping friends because of his unfortunate crying, this also made him cry. No women would even look at him, this made him cry as well. He had to use plastic pillow cases because his tears continued even as he slept. One day Melvin was crying down the street when he ran into a little old bag lady. The woman fell over and Melvin cried harder. He tried to help her up by his hands where too wet from his tears. The lady struggle to her dirty feet and glared at Melvin. At this Melvin started sobbing. The lady slowly reached into her bag and pulled out a mysterious powder Melvin never saw because his tears were too heavy. She pinched a bit of the powder into her palm and blew it in his face. It was like a miracle he could feel the tears resending. In moments he had stopped crying and didn't think he could cry even if he wanted to . He was so happy he hugged the women and thanked her then walked away. Melvin was on top of the world but as he walked he felt like his skin was tightening around him. It was horrible the worst headache he had ever had. Melvin managed to stumble into a bathroom. He leaned against the sink and looked in the mirror. Melvin was speechless when he saw the tiny head on the great big body staring back at him.
From that day on Melvin never cried again, but others cried when they saw poor Melvin and his shrunken head.