The magic 8 ball has been one of the best inventions in the 20th century. It has taken away the need to make decisions about unimportant questions by offering you the question cosmic response. Will I eat dinner tonight. Outlook is good. See it knows all and is ambiguous enough to bullshit its way through most questions.
I have a suggestion for a new magic 8 ball. In a perfect world this magic 8 ball would be filled with vodka, everyone needs a pick me up now and then, and the answers would be meat themed.
For example.
Will I have dinner tonight? Answer: Where's the beef.
Other possible answers
I'm too drunk to taste this chicken.
Get your jive turkey ass out of here
Give the wee little man some corned beef.
The answer my friend is flowers and sausages
Genius.
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About Me
- Liz Schulte's Blog
- I am a Scorpio. I enjoy long walks on the beach, drinking copious amounts of alcohol, and men in hockey masks. In my spare time I work to foil the plans of my arch nemesis, utilize my eight finger discount, and lecture from my soapbox about social injustices. I do not tolerate fools or like people who make Walmart plural. I judge people who are missing more teeth than they have, unless they are old. I would like to someday be the scary old woman in the neighborhood that all the children are afraid of, however I will be misunderstood and actually a sweet old lady turned bitter by the disappointments of this cruel, cruel life. I will have made my vast wealth telling fortunes under the alias the Mad Madame Mim and selling t-shirts in tourist destinations that say “Life isn’t always flowers and sausages”.
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