Once upon a time there was a person named Stevie Mulligan. Stevie Mulligan was awesome. Everything about Stevie was completely awesome from the awesome name, to awesome shoes to awesome hair. Stevie could run, jump, laugh, explain, kiss, punch, understand better than anyone else he had ever met. Stevie was an action hero. In fact he wore a Batman belt buckle just so everyone was aware that HE was special.
One day Stevie was walking down the street mulling over exactly how he became to be so awesomely cool in everything he did. He caught a glance of his own reflection in a glass window front. He stopped to admire his own charming good looks when he noticed something funny. His hair did not appear to be his own hair. In fact he wasn't even sure it was attached. I tugged on it gently and nothing happened. Stevie leaned in closer to inspect this outlander hair. He tried and tried to tug, comb, smooth out the hair on his head but no matter what he did it still didn't look like his. Stevie started to have an identity crisis. Who was he? Whose hair was this? How did it get on his head? Why were people staring at him he wasn't being awesome?
Stevie knew everyone could see that this wasn't his hair. They would think it was a toupee and toupee's are not awesome. Stevie couldn't let people believe that of him so he pulled out all the offensive hairs one at a time while staring wall eyed into his reflection in the glass window. When Stevie was about halfway done suddenly he noticed his reflection was moving even though he wasn't. His eyes adjusted and he saw a man who had been dining inside the restaurant stand up trying not to look at the crazy man on the street plucking out his hair. Stevie looked at his reflection again. All of the foreign hair had been just that...foreign. He had mistaken the man's, inside the building, hair for his own. Now Stevie has ruined himself. Wavy blond hair covered the ground below him and his bald scalp on top of his head was red and swollen. Only the sides of his hair remained.
Stevie's hair never grew back because he doubted his own awesomeness.
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About Me
- Liz Schulte's Blog
- I am a Scorpio. I enjoy long walks on the beach, drinking copious amounts of alcohol, and men in hockey masks. In my spare time I work to foil the plans of my arch nemesis, utilize my eight finger discount, and lecture from my soapbox about social injustices. I do not tolerate fools or like people who make Walmart plural. I judge people who are missing more teeth than they have, unless they are old. I would like to someday be the scary old woman in the neighborhood that all the children are afraid of, however I will be misunderstood and actually a sweet old lady turned bitter by the disappointments of this cruel, cruel life. I will have made my vast wealth telling fortunes under the alias the Mad Madame Mim and selling t-shirts in tourist destinations that say “Life isn’t always flowers and sausages”.
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