Why I love my friends...

We can have email conversations like this...

K- "I didn't get to leave for lunch. I feel like a prisoner."

L- "Maybe you are. Oh noes! Quick try to go outside then report back."

K- "i've been captured! my escape attempt has been foiled!!"

L- "Ok do not panic. DO NOT PANIC!! It will be ok. We just have to think, use our heads. You still have contact with the outside world so that is good. You must now start carrying a poison capsule in your pocket in case you are ever detained by enemy forces.
DO NOT PANIC!!!
Go to the guard at the exit when he is alone. First try to sweet talk your way out. If that doesn't work you might have to show him some boob, nothing else can be done. If that fails (i.e. the guard is gay) you will have to start making a rope out of your hair. Keep this secret from the other prisoners for they will either rat you out to obtain guard favors or they will want in on it and anytime you have too many people in on something it is bound to fail, it's science. Most importantly remember you are not alone. You will recognize other like minds by their ability to quote random FaLiLV lines and their ability to figure out what FaLiLV stands for. Beware of elevators, monkeys, cheese haters, and bats. Good luck."

K- "Gahhh!!!! I printed your instructions off. I even made myself a makeshift wooden sword. But, they demanded to see my papers and I accidentally showed them the instructions you wrote me. I have been beaten because I would not tell them what FaLilLV stood for. They will not get this out of me!!

i have been beaten. send help.

s. o. s."

L- "Play dead. PLAY DEAD!!!!! Quick like a bunny!

Once you are released try to be more careful. I am sending George Baily over to you his fishy good looks should get him through the door. He will meet in a bathroom in the second stall toilet bowl. IMPORTANT...do not flush. I repeat do not flush. George Baily will have supplies for you. Aspercreme, sedatives, brass knuckles, nunchucks, a snack, something to read, and a cowbell.

You must never tell. NEVER.

Will send more reinforcements soonish."

K- "i tried, yet they poked me with a plastic spork and made me give up my wooden sword.

they are trying to get your location out of me. I am going to try to sneak into the 2nd stall toilet bowl. i am concerned someone else went in there and may have already flushed. :(

they want to know who i really am. I am trying hard to fight them getting anything out of me.

If something happens, please be sure to tell them my story. Call it: The Legend of Zelda. "