Friday, November 19, 2010

The Trip of a Life Time

Setting: Coffeehouse

“Hey Marvin! How are you?”

“Hey man!” *shakes hands* “It’s been a long time. I am doing fine, how are you?”

“Fine, fine. It’s been at least a year, are you headed out or can you sit, stay a while.”

“Sure” *Marvin sits at table takes a hand full of popcorn*

“So tell me what has been going on with you? What’s new?”

“I just got back from Hawaii.”


“Yeah it was a lot of fun. We went to a luau, saw the hula dancers. There was this one who looked like a smurf–not a girl smurf either.” *chuckles* “Alex O’Laughlin was even there.”

“The actor?”

“Yeah apparently he films Hawaii 5-0 there. It was pretty cool, the wife went totally nuts, her go-go gadget powers kicked in.”

“Wow that sounds like quite the vacation!”

“It was. It had everything someone could want drama, suspense, humor, Conan O’Brien (man he got sunburned), I bought a miniature Buddha covered in hair…”


“Yeah it is a priceless piece.”

“Sounds great. Must have cost a fortune.”

“Yeah I told the wife it was this or the diamond earrings she has been after.”

“I bet you never wanted to come back.”

“Meh. I would miss the snow.”

“You would choose snow over the ocean?”

“I would.”

“Wow. I am jealous. How are the kids?”

“Oh they are good getting excited about Christmas.”

“You know I have the perfect gift idea for kids. I just bought one for my own kid.”

“Oh yeah what’s that.”

“It is in my trunk. I could tell you what it is but you would never understand. You want to come look?”


*men get up and leave the café*

“What have you been up to Curt?”

“Oh it has been a bad year for me. My car is just around the corner.”

“Really what happened?”

“I died.”


“I died. I was legally dead for 3 minutes.”

“Wow! That is awful what happened?”

“Car accident.”

“Oh no. You look ok now, how long ago was it?”

“Not too long.”

“Do you have any pain?”

“No.” *Curt pops the trunk of his car. The men step forward* “You know what it means that I died.”

“No, what?”

“I am undead.”

“I guess, technically that is true.”

“You know what else is undead Marvin?”


“Zombies. Zombies are undead. So I guess that makes me a zombie.”

“Heh heh. Look you know I think I have to go.”

“You’re not going anywhere Marvin.”

Curt ate Marvin and stuffed his bones in the bean bag in his trunk. His kids would have a great Christmas this year.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


Ok it isn't often I take requests for blog posts, but this one was interesting.
The pros of being a zombie:
-You may smell but your friends like it.
-Everyone you know is hungry all the time.
-No one can tell your drunk shuffle from the regular shuffle
-You always go to the bathroom together... and really everywhere else together too. Safety in numbers.
-You will never be judged for a bad hair day
-Dirt under the fingernails is all the rage
-If someone messes with you, your friends will eat their brain
-You will never be expected to run anywhere
-You don't remember why the third floor is funny but you still want to go there
-Your friends will never make you read Eat Pray Love... or anything. They are so over reading
-No longer have a reason to fear stalkerish, sparkly bompires

<3 you guys!
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